making peace

And suddenly, at some point o’clock  in lab, last week (though it may have been Saturday) we were imparted with a revelation. I turned the knob, and the guitar’s  pitch shifted. The program worked. I wanted to cry. It wouldn’t have been the first time I had wanted to cry in lab.

And suddenly, at 7 AM I have a revelation. Today is Lucia. I go down stairs and my housemate’s Norwegian friend is sitting at the breakfast table. “Ska du fira Lucia?” She asks (except in Norwegian, of course). “Firar man Lucia i Norge?” I asked, a little surprised. Apparently, they celebrate Lucia in Norway. “Glad Lucia,” I wish her a happy Lucia—all the while realizing that she just made my day a lot more than I just made hers.

And suddenly at 1 PM, I hand in my Lab report. In the Department office I run into my Quantum professor. ‘See you in office hours!’ I say. It was my way of forcing myself to go.

And suddenly at 3 PM I had a revelation. So THAT’S how spins precess in rotating magnetic fields.

And suddenly at Midnight I realize I am still in the Leconte reading room. I chuckle at the clever symmetry of the semester.

And suddenly at 2 AM I had a revelation. I haven’t watched the final film for my (last) English course, the exam is in a matter of hours. There’s only one solution to that problem: watch it.

And suddenly at 7 AM I had a revelation. It’s 7 AM.

And suddenly at 10:17 AM I have a revelation — all of this, all of it, all of it—is Quantum Mechanics. The electrons in my pencil. This, my English final exam and everything it encompasses. For a second I get that overwhelming feeling that I’ve just discovered all the answers and I title my essay simply by writing out the wave function for the singlet state of 2 fermions in a harmonic oscillator, greatly enhancing the quality of the utter bullshit I had been throwing down on the page for the last two hours.

And suddenly, at 5:55 PM I have yet another revelation —I am screwed.  All of this, all of it, all of it—is Quantum Mechanics. And no matter how much I have grown to actually like Quantum Mechanics this year, there is still so much left to be understood. Five minutes later I hand in my paper, thank the professor for a good course and tell him that, yeah, I am actually quite embarrassed that you’re going to read my exam. Make sure you’re sitting down before opening the bluebook, it might be a bit unpleasant. Happy Holidays, see you next year.

And suddenly, at 6:30 PM I am flat on my face on my bed, collapsed in exhaustion.

And suddenly, at 7:00 PM I realize: I freaking I love Physics.

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