Archive for the ‘Language’ Category

Correction: Money Manager

May 29, 2012

Fear not, dear reader: I have survived the last 24 hours and I am not chained  in a dungeon somewhere beneath the fortuneteller’s secret castle in Evian, nor am I locked the Geneva Fire Department’s cell in the crypt of Catedral Saint Pierre, a place reserved for people who ne parle pas Français. In reality these places do not exist, I hope. It turns out that my landlady is remarkably understanding regarding la machine lavage, we haven’t heard a peep from the fortuneteller, and the firemen (regrettably?) have not returned.

Everything seems to be under control, though it has been brought to my attention that I have committed yet another unfortunate misunderstanding* involving French. Gerant de Fortunes, does not mean fortuneteller. It means money manager. In hindsight, this makes infinite sense here, in the City of Banks (and Rainbows). Allow me to explain how I arrived at ‘fortuneteller,’ and maybe you’ll forgive me. I saw ‘gerant,’ and thought gerund, as in the term for the verb form, you know, the -ing in English. I believe the term has a root in Latin** which has something to do with undertaking an action. In my mind these things combined to reach the conclusion ‘fortuneteller,’ and it stuck. I passed by his door everyday for two months, absolutely certain that behind that door lived a diviner, when in fact, the man is more interested in dividends. Although, being fair, for a good deal of the world, money and fate are inextricably intertwined–on an emotional level, at any rate.

the daily saga regrets the error.

However, this realization does make it all the more hilarious that the decor in the man’s apartment was so, so fortuneteller-appropriate. Sometimes, Real Life is just too good to be true. Le sigh.

………………….

*One must misunderstand in order to understand. Words I live by.

**Full disclosure: I don’t read Latin. I just used to study English. Corwinna, Latinist extraordinaire, are you out there?

Pompier-Feu, Pamplemousse

May 28, 2012

I could write here about Saturday, about the Grand Colombier, about the Most Difficult Ride I’ve Ever Done (based on pure statistics. Emotionally there have been rides far more difficult). And I will. But for now, instead, I will write again about Swiss firemen. More on cycling later.

…………………………………………………

A blurry figure appears in the peephole of my front door. I’m in the flat alone, this being Pentecost weekend my landlady and flatmate are away. I’m a little startled to hear the doorbell ring. Nonetheless, I answer the door to find a thin, elderly man in a pistachio-green bathrobe. His eyes are a clouded blue, either from age or from having having just awoken; His white is hair tousled, probably for similar reasons. He looks disconcerted.

Bonjour, he begins speaking to me in French. Of course, I can’t really understand, but I know what he’s talking about.* He is saying that he’s the downstairs neighbor, and there’s water leaking through his ceiling. My stomach drops four stories and hits the ground.

Puis-je regarde…ton salle de bain? He asks. Can I have a look in your bathroom?

Oui, entreé. Yes, come in.

He follows me to the bathroom. I open the door and am greeted by a pool of ankle-deep water. How did I not hear the leak? I touch the water and a mild shock runs up my arm; For some reason, the pool is carrying a charge. He sees me draw my hand away. Est-il chaud? he asks. Is it hot?

Non non non…erm…electrique? I reply. Ne touchez pas…

His worry seems to increase and in a whirl of French which I cannot parse but can somehow miraculously understand, he bids me to come see the mess in his apartment. As follow him down to the third floor, it dawns one me that he is the resident of the apartment bearing the Gerant de Fortunes, Expert (Expert Fortuneteller) plaque that I have passed by in wonder every day for nearly two months. I am about to enter the fortunteller’s apartment, at last.

Once inside, I’m struck by the fact that every horizontal surface is covered by an oriental tapestry and every vertical surface is covered in indigo hued wallpaper; the place is absolutely saturated in detail. I haven’t the energy to take it all in, though I wish I did. And yes, there is water dripping from his ceiling, though it is not as bad as I feared. His wife, with a face kind like a turtle’s, seems less like a fortuneteller’s wife than I would have imagined. She is standing staring up at the drops, hands on her hips. She smiles at me and seems to be a good sport about the whole ordeal whilst I apologize profusely. Il pleut, I say, in a somewhat vain attempt at levity. She smiles encore.

Mr. Fortuneteller, however is only slightly amused and is trying to tell me that he wants to call someone. Given that I’m at the point in my French book where one learns things like the names of fruits and vegetables, all I hear is: Je vais appeller le pamplemousse. Meaning, “I am going to call the grapefruit.” My neighbor, the fortuneteller, wants to call the grapefuit. I am fully aware that this is not possibly correct, and whatever he’s saying doesn’t sound exactly like pamplemousse anyway. I am at a loss for ideas.

Oui? I answer, half-heartedly. Pas compri… I utter, but it’s too late.

I return to my apartment, don rubber gloves and rubber soled shoes, begin to bail the water into my bathtub with a pot, and manage to stop up the leaky joint in the floor that is causing the fortuneteller so much grief.

A scare ten minutes later, there are three rather massive humans standing at my open door. I stop bailing water, rush to the entry and on the shirts of these humans I read the words: Pompier-Feu. Upon seeing it written I understand immediately. Pompier-Feu, pamplemousse. Ah, oui, there was my grapefruit. Except he isn’t a grapefruit, he’s a Fire fighter. Pompier-Feu. Bonjour, says the grapefruit. Bon. Jour. My neighbor called the fire department on my washing machine.

In what could be a textbook example of Massive Overkill, my bathroom is soon flooded not only with water, but with three Geneva City firemen. Apparently, they have nothing better to do than to go around answering calls about washing machines from Fortunetellers and hapless anglophones. All of them are at least twice my size and are wearing monstrous rubber boots. At once I am painfully aware of the fact that I am still in my pajamas, a which involve a (very comfortable but embarrasing) pair of purple leggings.*

I’m helpless as Les Pompiers Feu swarm the washing machine. One of them pulls out and hands me a busted rubber washer, the kind I’ve repaired numerous times on kitchen sinks, bathtubs, and pressurized 500 liter dewars of liquid Helium. About this point I realize I probably know more about how to fix this washing machine than these firemen do, seeing as appliance repair is not typically in their job description and, let’s be honest, experimental physics involves a good deal of glorified plumbing. Despite the Physics@Berkeley t-shirt I’m wearing, this fact is not entirely obvious to the firemen. I attempt to explain what happened and what I think went wrong. Le eau est sorti le port, peu-être la port n’est pas fermeé! When he begins correcting the gender of the nouns I’m attempting to use,** it becomes clear that this language barrier is insurmountable and he phones a supposedly English speaking colleague. We have a brief chat on the phone which is not very helpful to me, but the grapefruit seems satisfied when I hand him back his phone. He hangs up and says something presumably funny.

Rigole!” he says smiling. Now, this word I understand: Laugh! “It iz a jjoke!”

“Ha ha ha,” I reply, with only thinly veiled irony. My tone is translingual, and for once during this bizarre interaction all four of us reach a point of perfect understanding. A Joke, indeed. Now, the real laughter. He recommends I contact a technician and warns, finger waving included, Ne touchez pas la machine! Don’t touch ze Machine! D’accord. I promise them I won’t. We all wish one another Bon week-end and part ways. I sop up the rest of the water, change out of my purple leggings and bike to CERN, where the tale of my morning brings at least some mirth to our grim progress on far more complicated feats of plumbing

As soon as I get home the first thing I do, obviously, is touch the machine. I see that they’ve turned off the water and the power, and after a brief inspection I  ascertain that nothing is actually wrong and something must have been caught in the door during the wash, causing it to leak. I flip on the power, open the water valve and run a test cycle. Mercifully, the washing machine works properly. As of yet, there is no water on the floor and the fortuneteller has yet to return with further greivances.

However, seeing as I have no idea how much the Geneva fire department charges for house calls involving washing machines, nor how much damage fortuntellers claim for dripping ceilings…when my landlady gets home, I may be as good as dead. Pray for me, dear reader.

…………………………….

*Don’t judge.

**Dear Francophones: it is not our fault your language is so complex and aphonetic. Cut us some slack.

Sigue lloviendo…

April 22, 2012

My Spanish is like a large, dormant animal couched comfortably in the darkened recesses of my brain; it hasn’t been touched for roughly three years. A sad state of affairs, considering that over the course of a good third of my life, Spanish was taught to me by a lazy litany of incompetent high school teachers, my neighbors from Honduras and Guatemala, my friends from Mexico, a certain Mexican telenovla called “Más Sabe el Diablo,” and a certain band de la música rock de Guadalajara called Maná. Nowadays, with other languages taking priority, Spanish has to be drug out of me kicking and screaming, like child out of bed on the first day of school. Even once I finally find the right shapes in my mouth, all I can utter at first is a whispered, “tengo verguenza.” I have shame. Considering how severely my Spanish has regressed, truer words may have never been spoken.

Despite my verguenza, my Spanish has now officially been extracted from its dormancy, believe it or not, in the context of this sport called football.* Basically, in a strange turn of events involving the internet, mountain biking, and a healthy dose of  “why the heck not,” I ended up watching the FC Barcelona vs. Real Madrid match with two Spaniards. Mind you, sitting between two Spaniards, each rooting for a different team. Yes. As you can imagine, within a few minutes I was well-acquainted with a new swear word or two.

Even barring the “American” label I often bear,** I really can manage to watch a game of football and enjoy it. And I do, once every four years. It’s called the World Cup Final, and in all honesty my participation in it is mostly an excercise in social and cultural literacy. Football is a pandora’s box I don’t particularly dare to open: the complicated rankings, the leagues, the fear- and awe-inspiring kind of devotion, the nationalism, the songs. It’s an intensity I have a hard time justifying or understanding, so mostly I let it be.

All of this aside, it’s a good time watching the game, even if the air is a bit tense. Soon enough however, I make the inevitable mistake: I chime into a Spanish conversation, in English awkwardly, and the word is out. I can follow them. From here on, the evening is bilingual. For me this development is half mortifying (am I really this bad at Spanish now? Really?) and half enthralling (speaking another language, no matter how poorly, is always a rush). For the Spaniards, it’s pure amusement. Real Madrid wins, Barcelona commiserates and looks forward to the next game. Oh, no, it’s not over yet.

Nor is the battle over for me, and as the tests of Spanish competency and random trivia questions (hint: if the question is something like “Who is the best at such-and-such,” the answer is always “España.”) continue, I discover I have something I didn’t know I had. Namely: An accent. I offer transcriptive proof:

Spanish Guy: ¿(blah blah blah)…está fferrado?

Me: Um, ¿que dijiste?

SG: Fferrado.

Me: No conozco esa palabra…

SG: Oh my god! Fferr. Raad. O. Fferrado!

Me: ¿Ferrado? (my mind sends me to Latin, to the Periodic table, to Iron, ferromagnetism…What is he talking about?)

SG: Si, como abierto y más tarde fferrado.

Me: Oh my god. You mean cerrado! Cerr. Aad. O. Cerrado. Closed…a frances se dice ferme. ¿No?

SG: Oui. Oh my god. Cerrado. (He speaks as if he’s spitting out a spoiled piece of food). No. Ffferrado. Jesus, do want to espeak eSpanish or do you want to espeak Mexican?

Me: …ferrado…. (and silence. But I’m thinking: Dios mio, I think I’d rather speak Mexican.)

Oh, and yet another Pandora’s box I don’t particularly dare to open!

……………………..

* I’m not calling it “football” because I want to sound holier-than-thou. Allow me to explain. In the US there are two types of people who actually call “soccer” football: 1. People who actually like football (ie. 90% foreigners/immigrants) and 2. Hipsters who want to seem more enlightened than the rest. God forbid I should slip into the second category. I am calling it football because that is the convention here, and I must live with it.

**I can often avoid this by pulling the Swedish card, but that gets tiring.

*** Note: Given theme of Espain Espanish, this was written with AV in mind, who among other things likes blog shoutouts. Woohoo!

Cyrogenic, and Salève

April 13, 2012

My blood has thinned, and I’m sure of it.

Coming to California from Sweden, I thought I had conquered being cold. In California yes, it rains, but you can be assured of sun within in a matter of days (or hours). Not just patchwork sun, either, no. In California, you expect it to come on full power, explosive, rapturous, unyielding. It’s the kind of sun that makes budded trees pop before March and makes them wilt by June. In California, I shunned jackets, I slept with the windows open, I rode my bike while wearing short sleeves and short fingered gloves.

In Switzerland, a pause in the rain finds our team enjoying the daily espresso out of doors.  Sitting at that table in the middle of sodden Europe, I begin to sense that either my blood or my jacket is too thin. It’s not even the kind of cold you feel in your bones, I think, it’s just normal cold. Someone remarks that I look like I am freezing. I most certainly am, but of course I grit my teeth and reply:

“I am not cold.” I don’t know what it is that’s in me that has always made me feel I need to prove that I can endure low temperatures. Possibly it’s the uncomfortable truth that really, I can’t. But I won’t swallow that, no: I will freeze until my blood rethickens.

In my defense, it really isn’t warm: On these last few mornings as I ride to CERN, I’ve taken a look back at our local massif. Le Salève is a marvelous color-changing upheaval of glacially carved sediment, but these few mornings, it has been graced by a delicate layer of snow. Something I’ve never before seen on Le Salève. By my evening commute, if enough light is left to see the Salève, the snow is gone, to be regenerated, by this  sorcery called ‘weather’ come dawn.

Le Salève. I rode up it, at last. On Easter sunday, after attending an unadorned, French-Language Calvinist mass in St Pierre Cathedral, I got on my bike and rode towards the massif. Eventually found my way up. I climbed forever and then some, but when I reached Col de Les Coisettes I turned around and there were the Alps: a symphonic panorama in ascending indigo shades accented in broad and beaming shields of white yellow snow. Once in the small village of Les Croisettes, I found myself in a familiar setting: the tail end of an amateur road race. A man loading a Cervelo onto a roof rack sized me and my old mountain bike up before uttering a ‘Bonjour.’ I smiled back but was more fascinated by the emaciated young racers, their faces clean-shaven, lean, and strangely apelike; their fiercely luminous eyes peering out of the back windows of small cars. I tailed them down the mountain. On the switchbacks my hands froze to the bars and my mirth froze in my chest to be released in a burst of laughter at the sight of early blooming raps blossoms and a train of thought: Raspar, skåne, vår. Vår! Spring!

I did, in fact, speak Swedish with a physically present, living person today. Well, he spoke Finlandsvenska and I probably spoke a little Skånska, but that hardly matters. It’s wonderful feeling in the mouth, to speak a language that one can still hear the sounds of, a language that is not so disenchanting as the international and purely functional brand of English* that is, for the most part, my default operating mode.

Here’s to hoping that speaking a Nordic language will act as a blood thickener, and we can all get on with our lives.

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*My matter-of-fact German flatmate has expressed to me that “English is so simple,” I believe he meant sparse, incomplete, exiguous, limited.  He went on: “You can’t really say everything.” Ahh, yes (such it is with any language) but that is only because you don’t know all of the words!

the jetlag diaries

March 30, 2012

Jetlag from Europe to California is a beautiful thing: you wake up at four in the morning, bright-eyed and bushy-taled, and sit at the kitchen table eating cereal. Yes! Indeed, there is cereal, you realize, because you’re in America. God Bless.

Jetlag from California to Europe, however, leaves you dead-tired during all your waking hours, forgetting to eat at CERN and not having time to go to the silly French supermarket before it closes at 7 PM, living exclusively off of smuggled cliff bars for two days straight (true story), and blogging about it from your depressing and smelly hostel room at 3 in the morning before you collapse again in exhaustion just as it’s time to wake up.

All that being said: Have you ever built a bike out of a box at Geneva airport while some of the wealthiest people in the world mosey on by on their way to glitzy Alpine slopes, skis and designer luggage in tow? I have. It’s quite the experience. It takes about half an hour, will earn you a good deal of interested but aloof glances, and it makes you feel like somewhat of a badass. Badass, that is, until you don’t know what to do with the cardboard bike box and decide to carry it awkwardly in one arm (bike in the other) down the airport stairway to the left luggage desk in the train station. Barring all those confused stares from Swiss businessmen ascending on the adjacent escalator, this was my plan of action.

Soon enough, however, I realize that I don’t know how to say “Can you throw this away please?” in French, and so when I reach the desk  I simply push the box toward the left luggage man and say “trash?” Poor guy is taken aback, clearly not understanding.* As luck would have it, I am saved by a blond youngster, maybe the left luggage man’s apprentice, who approaches from behind the counter, looks me in the eyes and nods. “Oui, trash,” he says. He is of the generation that has been raised on the internet and therefore, understands English, at least to some degree. We stand there for a second in mutual understanding before he takes the bike box from me and starts walking toward the back door. “trash,” he says again. “Merci Beaucoup!” say I.

Exiting the airport and riding toward CERN and the snowcapped Jura, I have no regrets. I have my own bike, in Geneva. It’s rolling so smoothly beneath me that I just have to smile. I’ve waited a while for this moment. And besides, no longer am I subject to the whims of the bus, maybe now I can fit in some grocery shopping before Carrefour closes.

………………….

For the record, “trash” in French is les déchets.

tales from the Road: LA to Geneve

March 29, 2012

Reporting live from St Genis Pouilly, France. Indeed, it is 3 AM here, and this blogpost is brought to you courtesy of JetLag. Don’t expect anything coherent.

Also, compare to last time.

LAX >> Philedelphia

Interesting t shirts I saw on this flight:

“I ain’t afraid a no ghost”

“i (heart) hot moms”

“US Armed forces: Sinking our teeth into the Middle East” (accompanied by a graphic of an angry, cartoon commando duck…?!?!)

Number of people reading “Hunger Games”: Only 2, surprisingly.

A middle-aged woman sitting behind me decides to impose her life philosophy on the college-aged girl sitting next to her. Souls to be molded. It’s interesting for a while, but I tune out at: “You see there, are many levels of consciousness…”

Philadelphia >> Brussels

I cannot sleep on airplanes. Even when I’m lucky enough not to have anyone sitting next to me.

Brussels airport is large, efficient, hypermodern, and for some reason inundated with advertisements from energy/oil companies (“Europe: Fueled on Norwegian Gas. Statoil”). Also, there are chocolates and many women wearing expensive-looking pairs of boots.

Brussels >> Geneva Airport

In which I discover that my French is better but still sucks. Goodbye, social competency. I’ll miss you.

Also: Mont Blanc from the air, always a crowd-pleaser.

Geneva Airport >> CERN

Fortunately for me, the Geneva airport is well-practiced in transporting sports equipment: It is, after all, one of the premier ski destinations in the world. As I stand by the sport equipment baggage carousel waiting for my cardboard bike box to appear,  I find myself in a circle of Swedes who are talking jovially and with the kind of assurance that only comes with having a ‘secret language’ to speak in pubic. I just stand there, silent smiling. My bike shows up, unharmed, and it’s a piece of cake to cart it over to left luggage, and get on the bus.

Once at CERN, however, the real fun begins. I manage to convince the woman at the front desk to give me a visitor pass and I decide to leave my luggage at our office before going about procuring my access card. As I’m walking up the hill, the wheels on my rolling luggage begin to collapse. It must be clear that I’m having a rough time, because one of the many CERN vans whizzing by honks at me. You think I don’t know that I look like an idiot? It doesn’t help that my luggage is pink. God, why do I have pink luggage? Oh right, it was cheap. Cheap. Pretty soon the wheels have almost totally collapsed and I’m loudly dragging my pink luggage through the world’s premier Particle Physics research facility. I’m soon rescued however: Someone takes pity on me and I’m offered a ride to my building in a CERN van.

Only a few people are in the office, they’re working quietly. I’m greeted by a few short “hellos” and friendly smiles. It’s like I never left. It seems longer ago that I was in Berkeley than when I was last at CERN. It’s unsettling. I make it to the users office in time to get my access card, but am missing a form. C’est la vie.  I’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

CERN >> St. Genis Hostel

I wait ten minutes for the bus, only for it to discover that it is full and there’s really, really no room for me and my giant, decrepit suitcase. I wait 30 minutes for the next bus, and almost fall asleep sitting on the bench, having not slept for something like 30 hours. I’m nearing my personal record (36) and it’s not a good thing.

When it arrives I get on, and am subsequently blockaded from the door by a mom, her stroller, and her three other children. I miss the stop at the hostel because I am falling asleep, even while standing up. At the next stop I attempt to get off bus, but when I pull on the plastic expandable roller handle (you know what I mean, right?) to my luggage, it snaps unceremoniously off. I spend a few moments staring dumbfounded at it, during which time I miss also the next bus stop. the bus lurches to a start, and a guy who obviously works at CERN (oh yeah, there’s a type) catches my lugguage as it’s about to topple. His shirt says “—– High School, Class of 2005.” He’s American. God bless you, sir. I utter an exasperated “thank you,” he smiles and hands it over as the bus begins to slow down again. I gather my embarrassingly uncontrollable belongings and get off the bus. I leave the suitcase on the curb and dramatically stuff the detached handle into the nearby, tiny French trashcan. I roll drag the suitcase across the street and down a block to the next bus stop and wait, again.

I make it, at last, to the St. Genis Hostel only to discover that my room is on the sixth floor et n’y il a pas de ascensuer. No elevator. I lug the bag up each flight, just as the wiring is beginning to bust from the seems. I still have no idea what I’m going to do about this problem. I’m already having nightmares about how much it is going to cost me to buy a new luggage in Geneva.

My (temporary) room in St. Genis is very basic and smells like some sort of cleaning solvent. It takes me a good five minutes to figure out how to open the window, but when I do I can see the Jura and I have to smile despite it all. I want to wash my hands in the washbasin, but when I turn on the faucet the water sprays out at remarkably high pressure and at remarkably high temperature. My pants are doused. Hot showers, indeed. I’m so tired the world is starting to swim before my eyes.

I usually don’t cry during real life (usually only during movies, books, and emotional pieces of music) but here, I get pretty close. I change my pants, sit down on the simple, yellow-sheeted bed and think: What in the hell am I doing here, really?

I don’t know. But here I am. Here we go, guys.

end a sentance with

August 30, 2011

Shouldn’t it be ‘by’? I mean, ‘by 1/e’ instead of ‘to 1/e of it’s original value’?” asks one of the inquisitive backs of the heads in the front of 3 Leconte Hall.

It’s a fine point, really, and not unimportant. Grammar lessons from the peanut gallery are always appreciated in lecture, I’m sure. And of course there’s nothing wrong with expecting linguistic competency from lecturers. It’s just years after having abandoned subjects in which the matter at hand is the grammar itself, I usually find it hard to care about grammatical fluctuations on small scales. Even as a former English Major, I tend to pick my battles. But this lecturer’s a young whippersnapper. Accordingly, he promptly spits out a apologetic but witty reply:

“I’ve been working with Europeans a lot lately, and what I’ve learned is that prepositions, really, have no meaning.”

Most things that are funny are funny becuase they are sort of true; I snicker a little, especially considering that the Eurostrange affect to my own English apparently takes about two days to decay upon any return to the States. Still, there’s the tiny critic in the back of my head, the peanut gallery to the peanut gallery, thinking:

Aaaand…how many languages do you speak, O, Mr. American Professor of Physics?

Yeah, I thought so.

Really, the last people we (we=America, in this case) should be blaming for our own linguistic incompetency are the Europeans. Non? Donctha think?

Le lingua franca

June 11, 2011

WARNING:  Internal monolouge, cycling jokes, misspelled French words, and attempts at philosophy.*

“Bonjour! Je voudrais acheter l’abonnment mensulle pour les junoires, si vous plaits,” I confidently ask the smiling man behind the counter at the Geneva transport office. Hi! I would like to buy the monthly youth bus pass, please.

“Ah, Ok!” the clerk answers, oddly enthused. I’m delighted beyond all reason that he understood me. My joy, however ends here, as he then launches into an emphatic string of French words that all blend together.

Due to a childhood (as well as, an, umm, young adulthood) spent mimicking accents for my own comic enjoyment, I have developed a knack for pronunciation. Unfortunately this can lead to severe miscalculation on the part of the poor people whom I attempt to speak to. Basically, for about five seconds, I can convincingly sound like I speak French. Beyond that, I’m absolutely hopeless.

Queue the reply of shame: “Ahh, je suis desolé. Je ne parles pas tré bien frances. Je comprends pas. Je suis desolé…”

I’m sorry, I don’t really speak French well. I don’t understand. Languages with actual grammatical structure allude me. the clerk, however, is unphased. He smiles again and, like the good European transit office man that he is, flows seemlessly into English. Strangely enough, I’m not embarrassed or angry. I am perturbed by the fact that I feel, quite actually, relieved. I’ve only been self learning French for two weeks after all. So it begins, again.

Self learning this time involves mostly doing what I can with the time and energy that I have. For the first few days, my largely cycling based knowledge of French got me by:

“Hors Service?” Well, ‘Hors,’ which I know is not pronounced ‘whores,’ is what the ‘H’ in an ‘H catégorie’ climb stands for, and that means the mountain is so hard it’s without a category. So, ‘hors’=without. Ah! Out of service! that’s why it won’t print me a bus ticket!

“tête?” Well, tête du course is the overall race leader. Aha! It means ‘head!’

“Allez?” Just like my old Specialized! I know that one, it means “go!” Still it’s a little creepy that that guy yelled it at me as I jogged by…

“Etage?” Well etape means stage, like a stage of le tour. Since I’m staring athe elevator right now, I’m gonna gues that etage is floor. A floor is sorta like a stage. this language is easy!

Mon éducation en frances has continued rather passively: I read all the signs I see pass by as I’m riding the tram to CERN (reading French is a thousand times easier than speaking it), I watch “Les Simpson” on tv as I’m trying to fall asleep the morning after a night shift. Of course, I only watch “Les Simpson” if I don’t get distracted by “Malcom Mittendrin” (auf Duetsch, die ich verstehe besser als Französisch) or any litany of ridiculous British programs first. Really though, French. I’m working on it. I’ve even been out to Google translate a few times.
However, there is a certain allure to the idea of really being able to communicate with people here, of course. It’s inspiring to see a Physicist whom I know is Danish, or Colombian, or Italian, or Brasilian, and who just spent the last 20 minutes speaking to me in near perfect English, pick up the phone to order Hélium or to ask for the beam in French. I’d, personally, just like to be able to buy my bus pass.

At the same time, I’m aware that fluency in another language requires selling part of your soul. Learning a language is essentially the conscious or unconcious devotion of a corner of the mind to a different mode of expression, a different sensibility, and a different form of the self. We all know that no word in any language has a direct path to identidy or meaning, after all, mankind invented language in order to be able to lie, right? Words instead refract meaning, and each language sends the same incident thought off at a slightly different angle. Multilingualism fractionates perception, but enriches the whole experience allstå. See what I mean.

I’m just not so sure I’m ready to sell part of my soul to French. In all honesty, French wasn’t next on my hit list. Or really even on it. Now that it’s a necessity, I’ve decided to do what I can while I’m here. But I’ve resigned to doing just that. I am not going to let myself mind speaking English.

Before I leave the transit office, the friendly clerk asks me if I want a map of the bus lines. Feeling like at this point, I’ve already figured out what I need to know, I say no thanks. Non, Merci beaucoup!

“Ahhh, Genevé. She is but a small village, yes? ” he replies.

Oui. She is, she is. Un petit village.

……………

* Yes, I am absolutely stealing the “Content Warning” (as well as the footnoting) from Alia Salim, also known as the most poetic person on the internet.

Dorchester (Casterbridge)

July 19, 2010

Warning: this is epic and long.

It smells like the ocean. That was the first thing I thought as I stepped off of the 6 AM train into Dorchester, the grey sky above me just waiting to burst in rain.

Dorchester is a place I have always known by a different name: Casterbridge. In my junior year of high school, my English class read Thomas Hardy’s novel ‘The Mayor of Casterbridge.’ Everybody in the class despised it. The language was too old, the descriptions to long, and the events…to ordinary (for lack of a better word). Everbody in the class despised it, that is, except for me. And so began my infatuation with Hardy’s special brand of pastoral tragedy- the complicated and confused nature of his characters, the oddness of his description, and his romanticization of the everyday. Hardy has the vocabulary of a latinist, the eye of a stonemason, and the heart of a Dorset farmer. I have always said that his prose is not always as consistently masterful as, say, Jane Austen, but for me as a 16 year old student of literature, his dealing with themes of fate and mortality seemed more exciting than questions of civility, or of marriage and not marriage. The events that transpire in his novels where shocking by Victorian stantards, and his way of handling them in literature considering the context of his time was infinitely intriguing. In short,  I became a member of Team Hardy.

And as everyone who has read Hardy knows, his books are very strongly based in place, so much so that the landscape almost becomes a character in its own right, full of mad will and spasmodic resplendance.

So, Dorchester it was. I had to go.

When I arrived the town was not yet awake, the the streets where empty and the tourist office would not open for another hour, so not really knowing where I was and going soley on the what I had remebered from Hardy’s own half real, half fantasy descriptions I did the only thing that seemed natural: I began to walk. I walked through the empty, grey streets, being certain to mark the details of the stone work on the buildings as I passed. There was the church, the clock tower, the old fountain in the middle of town. Soon I passed a sign pointing in the direction of something called the ‘Roman Townhouse’, and with nothing better to do, I followed it.

I reached the townhouse at the top of the highest point in the city. The ‘townhouse ‘ was a ruin at best, but some beautiful roman mosiac floors remained. I sat there alone and ate my breakfast pondering the strangeness of the Roman settlement in England and thinking of Hardy’s lines about how Dorest houses the dead of that ancient empire.

When the tourist center finally opened and I procured a map and made my plan for the day.

First it was off to the market, the site where in Hardy’s novels the local corn merchants and farmer do business with each other. Today, it is just as lively but the goods that are traded are more like old junk, tacky trinkets, and of course, food from local farms. Walking through the crowds of bustling people, I tried to imagine Bathseba Everdine (From ‘Far from the Madding Crowd’) walking amongst them, the only woman-farmer in a the male dominated world of agricultural commerce. I myself bought a piece of carrot cake and a hunk of black pepper cheddar cheese.

Next up was Mambury rings, which are large parenthetical-shaped mounds made for some reason or another by anicient peoples and was used by the Romans as an amphitheater. Today, it is used for outdoor Shakespeare performances, and I regretting not being in Dorchester on a day of a performance. Shakespeare in a Stone Age monument sounds fantastic.

Next I walked a couple kilometers through the countryside to Maiden Castle, England’s (and possibly Europe’s) largest Iron age fort. All the while through the country side I was thinking of  ‘The Return of the Native’  and the characters’ long, wild walks through Egdon heath. As you can probably tell, most of my day was spent in my own imaginary Hardy-world. It was fantastic.

When I at last reached Maiden Castle, it was too foggy for me to see the structure from a distance, so I hiked up the first set of mounds in order to get a closer look. Upon realizing the ture enormity of the monument, I decided that I had walked far enough, turned around and walked back into town.

Next up was the Dorset county museum, which is a tidy and well-kept little musuem inside an old Victorian-decorated cathedral. There were a lot of the types of things that fascinate me: old farming implements, Roman remains, portraits of the Duke of Monmouth (who apparently was very popular in Dorset). The pinnacle of the visit, and the reason I had come, however, was the Thomas Hardy display on the top floor. The relative sparcity of visitors to the museum allowed me to spend quite a lot of time examing the manuscripts they had, pondering Hardy’s small, neat handwriting and the odd way he formatted his poetry (some stanzas aligned to the left, others justified). And then there was Hardy’s own title page for my favorite of his novels, ‘Tess of the D’Ubervilles’. It was quite an experience to read the words ‘Tess of the D’Ubervilles: or, A Pure Woman’ in Hardy’s own hand, and to realize that the edition of the Novel Ihad read several years earlier had in fact preserved the orignal format of the page. I was satisfied knowing that Hardy, as a poet (poets are often concerned about such things) would be satisfied. I stayed in that Room for quite a while, reading what I could of the orginal manuscripts and trying to imagine Hardy’s creative process.

I left the Museum to go back into town, and walked down the main street, know full of people as it would have been in Hardy’s day, in order to view that house that is immortalized as the house of Micheal Henchard in ‘The Mayor of Casterbridge.’ It is a brown brick house, very proper, and is now a Barclay’s Bank. I stood there for a moment trying to picture the cloistered Elizabeth Jane peering out from the second floor window. Next I walked by The Kings Arms, which is know a Best Western Hotel. It seemed to fit actually.

The journey I saved for last on that day was the walk out to Strindsford, to the small Parish Church where T.H.’s heart is buried. This time, walking through the sheep fields, my imagination dwelled on Tess, and her long, solitary wanderings- as well as her non-solitary ones.

I at last reached the church, it was very small. When I went in I realized that it likely looked exactly the same as when TH was baptized there. Being alone in empty stone churches in the middle of teh English countryside is a humbling and transporting experience, and for some reason I felt the urge to sing a pslam aloud. So I did.

I went out of the Church and found the small, unadorned white tomb in which Hardy’s heart is buried. The rest of his in in Westminisiter Abbey, where the Queen wanted him, but is heart, as always and as ever, lies in Dorset. I sat there for a while and paid my repspects, and thanked him for the insight, inspiration, and imagination that he has given the world of literature, and especially for the strong effect his words have had on me.

Satisfied at last, I walked back to town, said my last goodbyes to ‘Casterbridge,’ and caught a train to my next destiation: Bath. Stay tuned, and thanks for putting up with my Thomas Hardy stuff.

—–

Farm in Uppsala update: I HATE CUCUMBERS AND GREENHOUSES. that is all.

bike talk = cykelsnack

April 30, 2010

Just for fun. I think that it would be an awesome strategy for Cal women cyclists to communicate with each other in Swedish during races next year, like a secret code. It works better than Spanish, because it is far less likely to be understood. Just imagine the amount of confusion we could inflict on the WCCC! Let’s come back with a vengeance, I say. And since I’m pretty sure that Cal cyclists make up about half (maybe more) of my blog’s audience, I see no reason why we shouldn’t get started learning.

Here is what I got off the top of my head in the terms of useful phrases:

Klung = Pack, cyklist=cyclist, linjelopp=Road race, tempo=Time Trial, jobbig = this is hard/this sucks

Rulle = wheel, växla= shift!, hålla på = hold on, Hänga med= hang with, Jag kör fram = I’m coming in front, ligga bakom mig = get on my wheel, Missa inte! = don’t miss it (Is this selection at all telling of what these dudes usually say to me?)

öka tempot= increase the tempo, sänka tempot = reduce the tempo, ta det lugnt = calm down! stanna (or stopp) = stopping, håll= hole in the road, dra = to pull, ta en drag= take a pull, däck= tire, pumpa=pump, punka (punktering) = flat tire, slang= tube, kedja= chain, styre = handlebars, pedlar=pedals, hjälm = helmet.

Höger=right, vänster= left, sväng = turn, rondellen=roundabout, vattenflaska=waterbottle, camelback = camelback, bil bak = Car back, bil fram = Car up

backar= hills, brant= steep, uppförsbacken=uphill, nedförsbacken=downhill, medvinden = with the wind, motvinden= against the wind. Tappa = to drop, jag tappas = I’m dropping, Vi delas upp = we’re splitting up, Vänta lite = wait a second, TAPPA DEM!! = Drop the bastards!!!

KÖR!!!! = GO!!!

FY FAN!!! = Dang!!

Fortare = faster! Snabbare = faster!

Jävlar !! = Literally translated, “devils”. Loosely translated, Damn (or worse) !!

TRAMPA!!! = PEDAL!!! KÄMPA!!!= FIGHT!!!

andas= breathe…

Jag har kraft kvar! = I’ve got some strength left!

Tryck på gasen! = Step on the gas! Vill du klara dig?= will you make it?

Ja = Yes, Nej = No. Choose one.

Jag är helt hängd = I am totally dead now.

Jag bonkar = I’m bonking (just kidding, this doesn’t exist, I totally made it up. But if I could have just one thing to add to the Swedish language, I think this would be it).

Jag är burrito-sugen = hot damn I really wanna burrito right now.

Now start studying! I want you all speaking perfect bike-Swedish when I get back. Extra credit and I’ll love you forever if it’s Skånska.


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